28.02.2008 - for my hubby...

Buat papi,

Hr ini adalah hr kamis... Semenjak 2 hr yg lalu, ak ditgl ama cwo ak... cwo ak akit... Huhuhuz... Cedih deh... Huhuhuz... Betapa sepi na hidup ku tanpa dia... Hemz... Cptan sembuh dunkz papi... Mami bnran uda kangen bgtz... Uda ga bisa chatting... Ga bs zmzan... Telponan juga cumen brp menit... Bisa2 mami bete bgtz n cr cwo laen nich... Wakakaka... Yah... papi, cptan sembuh... Nante mami selingkuh lho klo papi tglin mami lama2... Mami sedih nich... Huhuhu... Mami tiap hr diajak knalan ama cwo2 yg ga tao dr mana nongol na... N aneh2 deh... Semuana ngajak knalan... Mami pikir 1 - 2 org... Tp tiba2 nongol jd lebih dr 10 org... Cumen gara2 maen fanbox... Buset ga tuh..??!!! Speechless deh... 0 M g... = Oh mI goSh... wAkakaka... Ngakak deng... Hemzzz... Papi, cptan sembuh dunkz... Hr ini dd minta tlg yg ga jelaz ma ak... kata na mao ak apuz foto dia yg ada di fs ak... Krn ada temen dia yg bete ama dia mao buka fs br dgn foto dia n pake nama jablay... Salah dd sndr sapa suruh ganjen n kecentilan n suka bikin org bete... Wakakaka... mao ga tlg jg ga bs... Biz nante klo dia ngadu ke mama, bisa gawat ak... Wakakaka... Tp kasian jg si dd digtoin... Abiz... salah sendiri... Sapa suruh kecentilan n keganjenan... Uda punya cwo sndr tp ms aja suka TP... Yah... Setgh kayak mami deng... Wakakaka... Ngakak molo neeh... Blog mami bikin na berjam2 nich... gara2 di ganggu dd molo... Minta tlg na buannyaakkkk buangetzzzz... Capek dehhhhh... Tp mo ga mo ak harus tolongin... Sapa suruh ak jd cece na... capek deh... wakakak... SI mama brsan tlp... Mo kirim email lge deng... Pdhal br aja kirim ke rog yg sama td siang... Cape deh.... Wakakaka... Yg baca cape ga nich??? hahhaha... Ngakak lge neeh... Hemzz... Udahan dolo yak... Mo kirim email sblum lupa isi na... Semoga TUHAN memberkati papi... mami sayang papi... muah...

Love,

Mami

25.02.2008...Thanks for everyone...

Hemzz... Bentar lge bulan Februari uda abis deh... N masuk deh ke bulan Maret... Hemzz... Cpt bgtz yak kt harus masuk ke bulan Maret... Bulan Februari... Juga bulan Valentine akan abis... Tp ak ga nyesel... Krn bnyk yg telah ak lakukan dalam bulan ini... Cumen ak takut bulan demi bulan cpt berlalu krn ak mase lom belajar apa yg akan jd ulangan ak pada bulan Juli nante... Hehehe... Skrg hidup ak... Hari2 ak... Penuh dgn kebahagiaan... Kebahagiaan krn cwo ak ditrima oleh mama ak... Kebahagiaan krn ak punya cwo baru yg bgto menyayangi diriku... Kebahagiaan krn ak ditrima di keluarga cwo ak... Kebahagiaan krn apa yg ak mao, akhirna terjadi jg... Saat ini, detik ini, ak merasakan kebahagiaan... Makasi TUHAN krn sudah memberi ak kebahagiaan ini... TUHAN, tolong jangan ambil kebahagiaan ini dari ak... Ak rela KAU memberi ak percobaan laen, tp tolong jgn ambil kebahagiaan ak ini dari ak... Terima kasih TUHAN... Brp hr yg lalu mama ak pulang Singkawang... N baru pulang hr ini... Selama brp hr ini, cwo ak dtg and temenin ak... Ak seneng bgtz... Ak ga tao bagaimana cara mengungkapkan kebahagiaan ak ini... Tapi, ak bnr2 bahagia bgtz... Ak tao ak ini manusia yg sering x membuat org2 disekeliling ak khawatir akan diriku... Tapi untuk skrg ini, hapuslah kekhawatiran kalian... Krn ak bgto baek... Ak bgto bahagia... Krn TUHAN telah memberikan kebahagiaan yg selama ini ak cari... Mungkin menurut kalian ini konyol... Tapi bnr, TUHAN yg memberikan kebahagiaan ini kepadaku... Makasi TUHAN...

Untuk TUHAN ku tercinta... Oh TUHAN, terima kasi krn KAU telah memberikan cinta kepada umat2MU ini... Sehingga umat2MU ini bs mencintai dan dicintai... Mengenal apa rasa cinta... Terima kasih TUHAN atas semua pemberian KAU kepadaku... Makasi krn menciptakan seorg ibu yg bgto menyayangi ak... Menciptakan seorg lelaki yg bgto menyayangi ak... Skrg, ak bnr2 merasakan kebahagiaan yg tiada habisnya... Terima kasih TUHAN atas semua ini... GOD, I do love YOU...

Untuk mama ak... Ma, makasi atas semua pelajaran yg telah kau berikan padaku... Semua hukuman2 yg telah kau berikan padaku agar ak tambah kuat dan dewasa... Ak ga pernah bnr2 membenci km... Krn ak tao, semua yg km lakukan ini adalah untuk kebaekan ak sndr... Makasi bgtz ma atas semua yg telah mama lakukan buat ak... Ak ga akan melupakan semua ini... Terima kasih...

Untuk mantan ak... Ak tetep sayang sama km... Tp sebagai temen... Bgto ak memikirkan mu, ak ngerasa sedih n kasian n bersalah... Sedih n kasian akan kondisi kesehatan km... Bersalah krn selingkuh di belakang km... Tp km bgto baek... Bahkan tidak membenci ak... Terima kasih... Ak akan doakan yg terbaek buat km...

Untuk cwo ak... Makasi krn uda hadir dalam hidup ak... Makasi krn memberi ak kesempatan untuk menjadi pasangan km... Makasi krn uda mao terima ak apa adanya... Makasi krn uda mao mencintai ak... Makasi krn uda mao menyayangi ak... Makasi krn uda mao berkorban untuk ak... Makasi krn smua yg kau berikan padaku adalah kebahagiaan buat ak... Makasi cinta...

Makasi semua temen2 ak atas semua dukungan yg telah kalian berikan padaku... Semua nasehat2 yg kalian tujukan padaku... Makasi... Ak sangat bersyukur krn mengenal kalian smua... GOD bless u all...

Love,

MAY

21.02.2008 - 1 month anniversary

20.02.2008... Itz wednesday... On 19 - 20.02.2008, I quarrel again with my dear... Hemz... But then, on 20.02.2008 afternoon, we stop our quarrel... On that nite, he came to my house... Actually he wanna accompany me until 21.02.2008, 12am... Because it was our 1 month anniversary... Hemz... I am so happy... Last nite we do lots of silly things... First he checked on my friendster... Then we watched tv for a while... Then he started to be naughty and kissed me... OMG... We french kissed for... Ermzzz... Quite a long time... Until I cant breath... Hehehe... And until I pushed him but he was so strong until I cant have the energy to push him... Hehe... Then he let me go... We chit chat and took quite few photos with my new phone... Will put it in my fs later on... I love him so much... Yes, I really do... I cant even angry him for a long time... On 18.02.2008, he put on a ring on my finger and it was our unformal engage ring... I am his n he is mine... Today is our 1 month anniversary... Wah... So fast... I feel that we just start this relatinship for few weeks... But... It was 1 month old now... Hehehe... Dear, happy anniversary k?? I love u so much... Yesterday he wrote me letter too... To expressed how he feel... And how much he love me... And I was so touch... So happy... Yes, I do love u too my dear... And I promise that I wont leave u... I will always love u... And I will always by your side... Forever loving u... I dont know why, I feel wanna be with u everyday, every minute, every second... I love u so much... And only love can understand us... Let love and GOD lead our way... Our way to our future...
Hubby, I love u so so much... I will always love u... For now... And forever...

20.02.2008

Hemz... Suddenly I feel wanna talk... Wanna write out everything I feel... For now, I feel sad, angry, mad, wanna cry... I dont know why... Last nite, he left me behind... He dont reply my zmz... That really hurt me... I dont know why he like that... Usually he can take jokes... But last nite, he was so so different... I cant said anything too... So I just let him like that... I didnt call him too... I thought this morning he will wake me up as usual... But he didnt... Usually even we are having quarrel, he will still wake me up... But not this morning... I dont know why, I feel like crying... But I dont let the tears to come out... Then I come in my office and start my computer... I sign into yahoo messenger... Waiting for him to online... As I wait, I always look into my hp... And I hope that he will msg me... BUt he doesnt... I am really dissapointed... And I really feel wanna cry... Oh GOD, please help me with this feeling... After that, I see him online... But he didnt find me... He just set up his status... And we chat thru status... I dont know why, I feel so hurt in my heart... Since valentine day until now, this is the 1st time we quarrel again... And I, I am so so sad... Why?? Why everytime I have to quarrel with him?? Why everytime I have to get hurt 1st then he will realize what I want?? Why everytime I have to roll down my tears then he will realize whats wrong?? I really dont know what should I do now... I am so so tired... But everytime when I listen to his voice, I cant stop... I cant stop loving him... Only with him I can be myself... Be a gal who is exhausted of love and care... But he... He doesnt realize that... He doesnt know that I am exhausted of love and care... I dont know what should I do... Hemz... GOD, please show me the way how to face all my problems... I really dont know what should I do... I realize that I do really love him... And I guess, so do he... But why?? Why sadness always comes to me after happiness?? He put on a ring on me... We have an unformal engagement... I am so so happy... A ring that curve our name and love on it... Tears... I hate tears... It always drop from my eyes... But then, without tears, I cant cry... What should I do now?? I am speechless... Why we always quarrel because of small matter?? I am so so sad... Oh GOD... Please help me... What should I do...?? Please lead me in this problems... GOD, now YOU are the only one who can change him... Change him to be a better man... Please guide him... Please look after him... Thanks GOD...

what happen with me within 1 month

Hemz..Just wanna tell ya guys everything that happen to me with this 1 month... Something that make me think I am crazy... I am nuts and I am weird... Hahaha... On 21th January, I start my relationship with someone who I just know for erm...1 week maybe... Actually, for the first time, I just wanna play with him... But after I see him on 20th January, I feel that something wrong with me... Really... First, I feel that I like him... OMG... How can that be??!! Hemz... But thats the truth... We go to church... he came to my house and pick me up... After that we go have lunch with my sis who suddenly appear infront of us... Hahaha... After that, we go watch movie... Hemz... When we leave, we din said anything... Let me tell u where is the weird thing... The weird thing is, I never feel the feeling that appear in my mind and body... Hemz... When he said he likes me and want me be his gf on 21th January, I accept him directly... Cos I feel the same way he felt to me... Let me tell you our activities everyday... We sms everyday, everyhour, every minute... Only stop when we are chatting... We chat since 8am until 5.30 pm... After that we continue with playing sms... At night around 10pm something, he will call me... And we will talk on the phone until we fall asleep... After that on 6am or 7am, I will give him morning call... On 27th January last Sunday, he brought me back to his house to introduce me with his family... So happy... Hehe... That day actually we want to go TA... But we didnt go... Because I am lazy... I feel that his house is comfortable... I really like his house... Hehe... Hemz... And if I dont remember wrong date, on 29th January, he propose me... I accept him but I know we cant married now... I told I will marry him when I am 26... Hehe... After that, guess wad... I, me, who always angry ppl for weeks... Can just forget about my anger to him in minutes... Thats the most weird thing happen in me... And I can even contact with him without any boring feeling appears... Hahaha... I think, I really do love him so much... I really do... Thats all I wanna said for now... I love u dear hubby... Muachsss.....

regrEt

Damn..!! I am really stupid to ask him once more time... Now... He hurt my heart again... I guess its time for me to really broke up with him... I cant stand... Damn!!! What he thinks he is??? He is nothing for me!!! Just a guy who dont have feeling and dont have heart!!! Sh*t!!! Just get rid of me... Dont come find me anymore... I will easily forget u...!!! I will !!! And I will show u that I can forget u!!!

LovE

Hem... I am thinking... What is Life meant to be without LOVE?? WoW... Even lesbian and gay have love... Right?? What is the feeling when we are sad there's no one for us?? What is the feeling when we are happy and there's no one to enjoy with?? What is the feeling when u see all your friends are dating with their love one while u are left behind alone?? Oh... GOD... It's hurt and miserable... That is what I felt before... Few years ago before I got bf... Its been almost 6 years past since I first learn to love... So miss my first love... But then... itz all a past now... Now I got him... He who always love me... He who always care for me... He who always miss me... He who always make me happy... He who always can make me cry... He who always be there when I need him... I do love him... I will love him... And I always do... Maybe we do always quarrel... But then it doesnt change my love to him... But it makes my love stronger... Oh dear... I really crazy for u... I am crazy in love with u... U are everything for me... When the first time u said I love u, I am so happy... I really do... Please... Never let me go... Cos I will never let u go too... Dear, I love u... Muah...

my feeling to my hubby

I just want to share my feeling right now in this blog... Where place that I can only expressed my feeling... Last night I cried for 2 and the half hours... I dont know how to stop crying... Until now, I am still struggling... I cant do anything... Last night I cry because my dear cant accompany me on this Christmas... Truely, it really hurt... Many thinking comes out to my mind... He want to visit his dead mom... And I know, how it means to him... But then, I also want to celebrate with him... I feel so sad... I dont know what to do... Once, he make me sad cause cant go Bali with me... And now, he cant celebrate Christmas with me... I am really hurt and sad... But I cant do anything... I hope I can see him faster... He promise he will be back on January... I hope this time he really keeps his promise to me... Cause... No matter what he promise me... I will always keep his promise... No matter how many times he had lie to me... How many times he had forget his promise... But I will still keep his promise... I know... And I believe that one day he will keep his promise... He will remember his promise... And another reason why I cant stop crying... Is... When he said that he got diseases... Anemia... I dont know whats that... I dont know... I just know I dont want to lost him... He is the one who can makes me happy... The one who can make me smile... The one who can let me love... The one who can make me sad... This is the 2nd time I falled in love... And I believe that my choice is not wrong... I dont want him to go away from my heart... From my days... I want him always in my side... No matter what happen to him, I will always love him... Always by his side... Even he become "plant man", I will still continue loving him... I wont stop... I wont change... We want to built our own family... Built our own house... Built our happiness... I believe he wont leave me... I believe he will built our happiness together with me... I believe that he wont make me sad... He wont make me unhappy anymore... I believe in me and him... And miracles... I believe there is miracles... GOD always give me miracles... I believe in GOD... I believe in him... I believe... Please GOD, dont make Gun leave me... Please make him my last lover... My only lover... I know, I always make him cry... I always make him sad... I always hurt him... I always make him angry... But... I will change... I really do... GOD, I am willing to change my health with his... I dont want to lost him... I remember he ever said we are going to dating for 5 years... And he will marry me... And we will live until 80 more years... I will keep his promise... It's hard for me to fall in love again... Once again I fall in love now, please dont take him away from me... GOD, I beg u... I dont have anyone except him... I dont want anything except him... I rather lost everything but I dont want to lost him... GOD, I dont have my own family... I want to built my family with him... Please, let this miracles happened... GOD, I believe in YOU... YOU will give me miracles right??? GOD, I believe in my choice... And I believe... YOU wont let him show up if YOU dont want let me love him... I am sure YOU will take care of him... I believe it... GOD, YOU ARE THE WAY, THE TRUTH and THE LIFE... I believe YOU wont take him away from me...

my BelovEd huBBy...ThankS fOr uR loVe.....

Erm... I want to talk about yesterday... Yesterday my hubby ask permission from me that he want to work until 4pm something... But he neva told me that his phone is out of batt and wanna left it at home to charge... HuH!!! And bcos of his fault, I felt sad... U know why??? Bcos at about 3pm something I zmz him and said : " I am so poor... Being left by my hubby... " And the hp reply this : " Who is ur hubby??? " And I stil thik its a joke... Then I said : " Ok... Not hubby... Just my lover... " And the hp reply : " Who is ur lover??? Do u know who am I?? I am Silvia... And who are u??? " I was so shocked... And I answer : " I am gun's lover... Who are u?? " And she replied : " I am his lover... We have been going this relationship for 3 years more... " And after that she turned off the hp... I was so shocked and hurt... And I dont know what to do... I thaught that he really back with his ex... And I zmz his bro asking who is Silvia... And his bro said that is his gf... And suddenly I think maybe my hubby just testing me... When he get home, he zmz me... But I replied him with no emotical... I cant said anything... I am so blank... So I take permission not to zmz... After that at night, I use my other hp to zmz him... Pretending that I am other ppl... That hp ever used to check on him and test him... last time I used that hp to say I am a gal who wanna be ur lover... But he rejected her... Hahaha... And now I used the same hp to say that I am a boy who likes May so much... And I used that hp to tell him everything that happened before he goes home... I oso treatened him that "alan" likes me... hahaha.... And my hubby become so moody... He ask his bro and his gf... And he scolded them... I am so scared... He is so emosional... Really... He never been like that to me before... He was so scared that I am hurt... Hehe... That make me love him more... I really do... Even when ppl said they likes me... I rejected them... Hehe... Hubby, thanks for your love... I love u...

cuRe a HeaRt tHat u'vE brokEn iT??nOt tAt eAsy...

Last nite I zmz Feb when I am in big emosion... Oh ya... Let me introduce u... Feb is someone who ever be my bf... Maybe for a week... Or 2 weeks... hehe... N now he is in Pontianak... Erm... Broke with him because he hurt me too much... That makes me dislike him... But yet he is so pity... So I still be friend of him... Erm, last nire he told me that he still treat me as his gf... And he still sayang me... He oso even call me yayank all the time... That wads makes me think of our relation before... But then, I dont want to get hurt by him anymore... No way... I hate the way he treats me... huh...!!! Did he think that it's so easy to break then cure my heart???? No Way!!! It wont happen!!! Never happened!!! It's not that easy to cure a heart that u have broken it... Maybe... We can just continue as friend... That's wad it will be for now lor... I still cant forget how he hurt me... Sorry... Everything comes so fast... And it really hurt my heart... I am sorry... Sorry that I cant forget the way u treat me...

Sorry???!!! Its not that easy...

Yesterday I receive a sms and msg from someone who actually I almost forget... After receiving her msg and sms, I bcome a bit moody... I dont know why its so easy for her to say sorry after what she had done to me and my family... She wanna said that it was becoz she is mad... But can she please think carefully who is she facing with???!!! In my "dictionary", there is no easy sorry... I cant forgive ppl easily after what I think they done to me make me very unhappy... Its not that easy if wan me to forgive her... Even she said sorry thousand times... Cos I am really hurt with wad she did... I neva said her bad things to others... I always believe her... I treat her as my own sister... N yet, she prefer to believe others... Believe boys that she just knew for few months... Remember before I taught her how to chat... And I really regret that I taught her how to chat... I duno wads in that boy until she prefer to choose him than me... I neva tell her wads in my heart... Now, I dont want to think so much... My hubby ask me to forgive her... But, sorry.... I still cant forget wad she did to me... I will neva forget... I will forgive her if one day I forget everything that she did to me... She always said tat she is not jealous when she see me get near wif her boy friends... But I know that she is... Bcos I can feel that... So, its hard for me to bcome friends wif them... They liked me... I do enjoy making friends with them... But yet, she always get jealous... I hate that... I dont know why she want to be jealous... Thats wad I hate... I really do hate that... I dont know what she wants... ShYt... Dont wanna talk bout her anymore... Just wanna say that, I dont like her... I still cant forgive her... I cant talk to her yet... And I cant forget what she done to me..

KesEdihAn dAN kEPeDIhaN

Ak ga tao apa yg haruz ak lakukan... Ga nyangka hal ini bs terjadi... Kesedihan yg paling ak benci... Slama ini ak adalah org yg ga kenal sedih... Apa ito sedih?? Ga ada kata sedih dlm kamus ak... Krn ak benci ama kesedihan... Kesedihan hanya membuat kt ga kenal diri kt... Dan kt akan melakukan hal-hal yg ga pernah kt lakukan... Mgkn jg yg akan menyakiti diri kt sendiri... Makana... Ak benci bgtz ama kesedihan... Tp... Hr ini ak berhadapan dgn kesedihan... Kesedihan yg slama ini paling ak takuti... Kesedihan yg ga haruz na muncul dlm hidup ak... Kesedihan yg paling menakutkan... Apa yg hrz ak lakukan??? Tangisan hadir dlm setiap mlm ku... Sakit hati muncul lge tiap ak bgn tidur... Mimpi buruk muncul dlm tidurku... Ak bnran ga tao hrz buat apa... Ak cape bgtz hadapi kesedihan ini... Disaat ak trima dia, ak tao klo suatu saat nante ak akan hadapi kesedihan... Tp ak ga nyangka bgtz kesedihan ini ternyata bgto menyakitkan dan lebih menyakitkan dr apa yg ak bayangi... Krn, uda sekian taon ak ga ngerasakan kesedihan ini... Ternyata ini yg nama na sakit hati... Ini yg nama na patah hati... Ak br tao... Ak sekali lge merasakan ini... Hal yg paling ak benci... Hal yg paling ak takuti... Apa yg hrz ak lakukan??? Knapa sich dia tega bgtz melukai hatiku?? Pdhal ak bgto menyayangi dirinya... Pdhal ak bgto care dan perhatian ma dirinya... Tetapi smua kasih sayang, care dan perhatian yg ak berikan, dikembalikan dgn sakit hati dan kepedihan dan kesedihan ini... Ak benci bgtz... Benci benci benci... Knapa sich kesedihan dan kepedihan ini hrz ada pada ak?? Knapa hrz muncul lge pada ak?? Ak benci ama diri ak sendiri... Knapa ak hrz sayang ma dia?? Knapa ak hrz trima dia?? Knapa ak mao perhatian ma dia sedangkan ak uda tao ak bakalan sakit hati... Knapa ak bs percaya ama janji-janji dia??? Knapa??!! Knapa??!! Knapa??!! Smua hal ini knapa bs terjadi??? Ak cape bgtz... Bnran cape...

kEnaPA kM gA miKiriN pEraSaAn aK???

Ak pikir ak bs mengubah dirinya... Ak pikir dia bnr2 sayang ma ak... Ak pikir dia bnr2 bakalan tglin cwe ito... Tp ternyata ak salah... Dia blg ke ak klo dia serius ma hubungan kt ini tp kenyataan na dia ga pernah mentingin perasaan ak... Dia ga pernah mikirin ak... Ga pernah tao apa yg ak mao... Ga pernah tao apa ak sakit hati ato ga... Dia blg dia uda ga ada hubungan ama cwe ito... Dia blg dia uda ga mao kontek ma cwe ito... Tp akhir na apa??!! Tetep aja pajang foto cwe ito... Tetep aja kontek... Tetep aja bikin ak sakit hati... Apa bnr ak ga pantes dpt kasih sayang yg tulus..?? Apa ak emank hrz kyk gini??? Hdp dlm kesedihan??? Knapa sich dia ga pernah mikirin perasaan ak??? Apa ak bnr bgto ga berharga buat dia??? Apa yg haruz ak lakukan??? Hatiku perih tiap ak melihat foto2 ito... Hatiku perih tiap ak inget ama janji2 dia... Apa yg ak kse tao, ga pernah masuk ke dalam otak na... Ak benci ama diriku yg ga bs apa2... Tiap hari... Tiap mlm ketika ak mengingat smua mslh ini... Ak cumen bs menangis sndr dlm kamar... Apa lge yg bs ak lakukan selaen menangis??? Kesabaran dan kepercayaan ito ada batas na... Ampe mana seseorg buat yg laen percaya ama dia... Ak ga tao mao lampiaskan kesedihan ku ke mana... Oleh krn ito ak menemukan tmn baek ak... Blog... Hanya dlm blog ak bs menulis smua kesedihan hatiku... Kata cc, cuekin aja... Biarkanlah smua berlaku dan kt tetep bersabar... Mgkn bnr, ak hrz bersabar... Ak ga akan ambil pusing lge...

PertEngKarAn dGn cwO rEsE

hEmz... gA taO dEH... Ga taO kNapA dIa bS gTo aMa aK... Apa sAlAh aK kE dIa?? DoLo eManK kT sEmpEt jDiaN... tP itO uDa keJdiAn lAmA bGtz... n sKrG aK jG uDa aDa PcR bR... aPa sAlaH nA kT jD tMn?? kNapA haNyA kRn dIa uDa pNy pCr bR trUz dIa bGtO dIngIn tErhaDaP aK?? dOlo kT sTlAh pUtuS tEtEp jD tMn kOq... MalAhaN aK aMa dIa bS cuRhaT2aN... Tp kNaPa sKrG dIa malAh gTo aMa aK?? DiA sURuh aK jGn Zmz dIa lGe... sUruH aK jGn cR diA lGE... cUmeN krN dIa uDa puNya pCr bR... bNrn gA nYanGkA... Di mAna JanJi2 yG dIa jAnjI kE aK?? dI mAnA jAnjI yG meNgaTakAn bAhWa kM kAn sElaLu tEmEniN aK?? Di mAnA jAnJI yG mEngAtaKAn kLo aK bLh cArI kM kaPan aJa, dImaNa aJa, kLo aK lGe bUtUH tEmeN?? Di MaNa jAnJi yG kM bLg maO bUaT aK keTaWa tRuZ?? aK sEbEl aMa dIa... aK gA nyAnGkA bGTz dIa bS tEga SurUh aK jGn kOnteK dIa lGe... SurUh aK meNjauH dR diA... aPa siCh SaLaH nA tEtEp jD tMn wAlAupuN dIa uDa pUnyA pCr?? tOh cWe nA itO jG g kNaL... tOh aK jG uDa aDa pCr... jD aPa sAlAh nA aK amA dIa tEteP jD tMn?? aK gA ngErtI aMa dIa... n Jg gA ngErtI kNaPa dIa hAruZ nyAkiTi aK mOlo... dOlo pAs bR puTuS... sKrg pAs uDa jD tMn... sAma aJa... cWo bRengSeK... aK maSe bErpIkiR klO dIa bS jD seOrG tMn yG aK peRcaYa... TerNyatA aK sAlAh... mGkN emAnK uDa wKt nA dIa iLanG dR keIduPaN aK x Yak... uDa wKt nA uNtuK meLupAkAn dIa... aK aKan hApuS smUa kEnaNgaN aK aMa dIa... aK aKan anGGaP dIa gA pErnAh mUncUl dLm hIduP aK... dAn aK akAn bUaT dIa ilAng Dr kEidUpaN aK sLama Na...

mY mEmoRieS

Disaat ak katakan kita putus,tao kah km betapa sakit hatiku??? Taokah km disaat ak mengatakan putus,hatiku sedang menangis??? Taokah km ak sangat menyayangi km??? Taokah km ak sangat merindukan dirimu??? Tapi semua ito sudah berlalu... Pada tanggal 20 July 2007, ak sudah memutuskan untuk putus dengan dirimu... Ak tao selama ini ak salah menyayangi org... Ak ga sehrzna menyayangi dirimu yg ga mgkn menyayangi diriku... Ak mse seperti org bego yg menunggu dan berharap km bisa menyayangi diriku... Tp akhirna ak sadar klo ak ito salah... Ak ga sehrzna menipu diriku untuk tetep sayang ma dia... Skrg... Walaupun ak uda jadian ama dia yg laen... Tp di hatiku mase ada dirinya... Dirinya yg pernah hadir untuk mewarnai hidupku... Gimana juga dia tetep bagian dr masa lalu ak yg pernah buat diriku bahagia... Makasi bgtz krn uda mo hadir dlm hidupku... Mewarnai hidupku... Menyayangi diriku... Membuat diriku bahagia... Menjadi bagian dr kenangan indahku... Makasi bgtz... Ak tetep kan sayang ma km... Tp dengan status yg berbeda... Krn di dlm hatiku sudah ada yg laen... Seseorg yg akan mengantikan dirimu... Ak kan berusaha untuk menyayangi dia sepenuh hatiku... Pokokna, makasi atas semuana... Semua yg kau berikan pada diriku... Terima kasih... Kau akan selalu dlm hatiku... Menjadi kenangan ku yg terindah...

VacatioN tO baLI

So its been a long time I did not write my blog... Hehehe... I just back from my vacation few days ago... It was a nice trip to BaLi after all... I met up with my cousin and his wife... They were a sweet couple... And guess wad, I make frens with Germany... hehehe... So cute... They are so frenly... Guess, they like Indonesia cause of the gals... Hehehe... And there were more fun thingy... But most of all, what i like most is when I get out from the tour, the next day I went to NUSA 2 wif Ko Han2, ce Sa2 and Ko Nico... We play banana boat and jet ski... Now that I know playing jet ski was so fun after all... Hehehe... And playing wif Ko Han2 is much more cheaper than I follow the tour... Hehehe... After back from the vacation, I got sicked... But its worth it... Ok...Its enough for today....

HappY day

Laz nite I scolded my mom and today I said sorry to her... And guess wad, I even told her about my boyfriend and she i agree with my decision... She said she also like him... Hemz... I guess it's should be like this... I'm sorry mom that I scolded you last nite... But then everything turns up to a good and nice endings... Thanks GOD cos I knew HE is always here for me whenever I need HIM... Now I really believe in miracles... Miracles do happened when we really believe that there are miracles... Like this miracles that GOD gave me... I neva know that my mom will accepted my boyfriend... But then... You see... She accepted him as my boyfriend... She even like her... And always stand for him... I really do love both of them... Muah... I love GOD... I love my mom and I love my boyboy too... Thanks GOD cos YOU makes everything so wonderful for me... I lvoe YOU GOD>..<

Ayank pUlang...( 15 Aug 2007 )

Hey... Ho... Hemz... Td pagi ayank pulang Makasar... Sedih deh... Semlm ak nangis lho... 1 krn ayank mo pulang Makasar... Truz dia pge karaoke ama Sir... N hp na ga bisa dihub... Ak sebel bgtz... Akit hati bgtz... Truz ak kesel gto... Ga mao ak bls zmz dia... Truz ak semlman ga bo2 lge... Huh... Mao bo2 tp ga bs... Sebel deh... Uda gto ak jam 4an ada zmz dia... Pas dia uda mao pge, dia peyuk ak... Erat bgtz... Truz tium ak... Dia sedih bgtz muka na... Pas taksi dtg, ak anter ampe depan... Dia kykna ga mao pge gto... Truz dia lepasin tas, balik muka n tium ak lge br pge masukin tas... Pas mao masuk taksi, dia mase ga rela gto... Akhirna ak tutup pintu br dia mao pge... Truz kt zmzan bntr... Ak kesel bgtz ma dia... Jd nada ak mse kesel... Pas dia uda ampe, dia zmz ak... Trz dia blg slama perjalanan dr rumah ak ampe ke Makasar, dia nangis... Krn dia sedih liat ak sedih... Dia nuduh ak ga nangis... Ak langsung aja kse tao dia ak semlman ga bo2 krn nangis... Truz dia hr ini sibuk bgtz... Ampe jarang bls zmz ak... Huhuhu... Sedih bgtz... Pdhal kan ak kangen bgtz... Sebel deh... Huhuhu... Ampe ga napsu mao bikin apa2... Hemz... Dia... Jujur, ak takut dia berpaling hati... Tp ak akan tetap percaya ama dia... Ak berharap hub ak ama dia awet2 aja... Krn ak sayang ama dia... Ak sayang bgtz ma dia... Dia 1 1 na cwo yg ak pernah ada yg sifatna baek, sabar, pengertian, penyayang, perhatian, n paling penting... Dia setia... Walaupun sering tengkar, tp ak tetep sayang ama dia... Ak sayang bgtz ma dia... Iy... Ak yakin bgtz ak sayang ma dia... Hehe... Doain biar kt awet2 aja yak...

MemOr@bl3 dAy...

Hemzzz... Sejak 20 Juli 2007 kmrn, ak mulai jadian ama 1 cwo yg baek, pengertian, perhatian, sabar, penuh dengan kasih sayang, imoet, lucu, dan gemesin... Dia dateng dr Makasar... Seseorg yg ak mulai sayang ma dia... Dia umur 23... Brp hari setelah kt jadian, dia kase ak kado... Kado jadian... 1 boneka babi... Lucu bgtz boneka na... Ak seneng bgtz... N ak jd malu... hehehe... Koq bisa ada seorg cwo yg segto romantis na... Hehehe... Semenjak 20 Juli 2007, ampe skrg, kt uda jadian sekitar 4 minggu ampe 5 minggu... Dalam jangka waktu ini, kita pernah tengkar... Tp, dia tiap x paste ngalah... N jujur, ak kadang jg akit hati... hehe... Tp, ak sayang bgtz ma dia... Dalam waktu2 ini, ak jd tao klo dia bnr2 sayang ma ak... N org na setia... Inget wkt ito tmn ak isengin dia minta knalan segala... Dia langsung blg dia uda punya cwe... N ga mo knalan ma cwe laen... N dia blg dia uda punya calon istri... Hehe... N dia jg kse tao ke ak soal ito... Setia kan dia??? hehehe... Ak sayang bgtz ma dia... Beneran... Dia baek bgtz... Cumen... Dia uda mo plg Makasar... Ak jd sedih... Oiya, lupa kse tao, papa na terima ak lho... Papa na lebih seneng ama ak drpd mantan dia... Keluarga na jg dukung hubungan kita... Ak seneng bgtz... Oiya, ak uda putus ama Will... Tp kt ampe skrg mse jd sohib lho... TTM gto deh... hehehe... N cwo ak jg uda tao soal ini... Pertama dia cemburu tp ak jelasin... Kt jg sempet gara2 ini jd tengkar... Hehehe... Will ampe skrg mse sayang ma ak... Jujur, ak jg sayang ma dia, tp smua ito uda berlalu... Kt cumen bs menjadikan smua yg telah berlaku sebagai 1 kenangan terindah yg pernah ada... Erm... Ak pernah crita kan ak tengkar ama seseorg... Krg kt uda baekan... N guess what, dia jadian ama temen ak... Ak br tao sich, tp gpp la... Ak ga knapa2... Cumen kesel aja... Ga tao mereka anggap ak apa... Temen ato apa... Krn mereka ga pernah crita ke ak... Ak sebel ama temen kyk gto... Ak ga suka temen kyk gto... Ak kesel bgtz... Tp tiap ak kesel, ayank muncul n bikin ak seneng... Pokokna kehadiran ayank membuat ak ngerasa nyaman n ngerasa bahagia... Ak sayang bgtz ma dia... Beneran... hehe... Yank... I miss u... I love u... Muah... Mudah2an kt bs selama na bersama... Oiya, lupa... Ak tanya ke ayank klo hub kt bakal brp lama... Dia blg 5 taon pacaran n kawin ampe 80 taon... Hehe... Romantis bgtz kan... Jd sayang bgtz ma dia ak... Muah...

hapUs sMua kEnaNgaN....

hEmz... gA taO dEH... Ga taO kNapA dIa bS gTo aMa aK... Apa sAlAh aK kE dIa?? DoLo eManK kT sEmpEt jDiaN... tP itO uDa keJdiAn lAmA bGtz... n sKrG aK jG uDa aDa PcR bR... aPa sAlaH nA kT jD tMn?? kNapA haNyA kRn dIa uDa pNy pCr bR trUz dIa bGtO dIngIn tErhaDaP aK?? dOlo kT sTlAh pUtuS tEtEp jD tMn kOq... MalAhaN aK aMa dIa bS cuRhaT2aN... Tp kNaPa sKrG dIa malAh gTo aMa aK?? DiA sURuh aK jGn Zmz dIa lGe... sUruH aK jGn cR diA lGE... cUmeN krN dIa uDa puNya pCr bR... bNrn gA nYanGkA... Di mAna JanJi2 yG dIa jAnjI kE aK?? dI mAnA jAnjI yG meNgaTakAn bAhWa kM kAn sElaLu tEmEniN aK?? Di mAnA jAnJI yG mEngAtaKAn kLo aK bLh cArI kM kaPan aJa, dImaNa aJa, kLo aK lGe bUtUH tEmeN?? Di MaNa jAnJi yG kM bLg maO bUaT aK keTaWa tRuZ?? aK sEbEl aMa dIa... aK gA nyAnGkA bGTz dIa bS tEga SurUh aK jGn kOnteK dIa lGe... SurUh aK meNjauH dR diA... aPa siCh SaLaH nA tEtEp jD tMn wAlAupuN dIa uDa pUnyA pCr?? tOh cWe nA itO jG g kNaL... tOh aK jG uDa aDa pCr... jD aPa sAlAh nA aK amA dIa tEteP jD tMn?? aK gA ngErtI aMa dIa... n Jg gA ngErtI kNaPa dIa hAruZ nyAkiTi aK mOlo... dOlo pAs bR puTuS... sKrg pAs uDa jD tMn... sAma aJa... cWo bRengSeK... aK maSe bErpIkiR klO dIa bS jD seOrG tMn yG aK peRcaYa... TerNyatA aK sAlAh... mGkN emAnK uDa wKt nA dIa iLanG dR keIduPaN aK x Yak... uDa wKt nA uNtuK meLupAkAn dIa... aK aKan hApuS smUa kEnaNgaN aK aMa dIa... aK aKan anGGaP dIa gA pErnAh mUncUl dLm hIduP aK... dAn aK akAn bUaT dIa ilAng Dr kEidUpaN aK sLama Na...