28.02.2008 - for my hubby...

Buat papi,

Hr ini adalah hr kamis... Semenjak 2 hr yg lalu, ak ditgl ama cwo ak... cwo ak akit... Huhuhuz... Cedih deh... Huhuhuz... Betapa sepi na hidup ku tanpa dia... Hemz... Cptan sembuh dunkz papi... Mami bnran uda kangen bgtz... Uda ga bisa chatting... Ga bs zmzan... Telponan juga cumen brp menit... Bisa2 mami bete bgtz n cr cwo laen nich... Wakakaka... Yah... papi, cptan sembuh... Nante mami selingkuh lho klo papi tglin mami lama2... Mami sedih nich... Huhuhu... Mami tiap hr diajak knalan ama cwo2 yg ga tao dr mana nongol na... N aneh2 deh... Semuana ngajak knalan... Mami pikir 1 - 2 org... Tp tiba2 nongol jd lebih dr 10 org... Cumen gara2 maen fanbox... Buset ga tuh..??!!! Speechless deh... 0 M g... = Oh mI goSh... wAkakaka... Ngakak deng... Hemzzz... Papi, cptan sembuh dunkz... Hr ini dd minta tlg yg ga jelaz ma ak... kata na mao ak apuz foto dia yg ada di fs ak... Krn ada temen dia yg bete ama dia mao buka fs br dgn foto dia n pake nama jablay... Salah dd sndr sapa suruh ganjen n kecentilan n suka bikin org bete... Wakakaka... mao ga tlg jg ga bs... Biz nante klo dia ngadu ke mama, bisa gawat ak... Wakakaka... Tp kasian jg si dd digtoin... Abiz... salah sendiri... Sapa suruh kecentilan n keganjenan... Uda punya cwo sndr tp ms aja suka TP... Yah... Setgh kayak mami deng... Wakakaka... Ngakak molo neeh... Blog mami bikin na berjam2 nich... gara2 di ganggu dd molo... Minta tlg na buannyaakkkk buangetzzzz... Capek dehhhhh... Tp mo ga mo ak harus tolongin... Sapa suruh ak jd cece na... capek deh... wakakak... SI mama brsan tlp... Mo kirim email lge deng... Pdhal br aja kirim ke rog yg sama td siang... Cape deh.... Wakakaka... Yg baca cape ga nich??? hahhaha... Ngakak lge neeh... Hemzz... Udahan dolo yak... Mo kirim email sblum lupa isi na... Semoga TUHAN memberkati papi... mami sayang papi... muah...

Love,

Mami

25.02.2008...Thanks for everyone...

Hemzz... Bentar lge bulan Februari uda abis deh... N masuk deh ke bulan Maret... Hemzz... Cpt bgtz yak kt harus masuk ke bulan Maret... Bulan Februari... Juga bulan Valentine akan abis... Tp ak ga nyesel... Krn bnyk yg telah ak lakukan dalam bulan ini... Cumen ak takut bulan demi bulan cpt berlalu krn ak mase lom belajar apa yg akan jd ulangan ak pada bulan Juli nante... Hehehe... Skrg hidup ak... Hari2 ak... Penuh dgn kebahagiaan... Kebahagiaan krn cwo ak ditrima oleh mama ak... Kebahagiaan krn ak punya cwo baru yg bgto menyayangi diriku... Kebahagiaan krn ak ditrima di keluarga cwo ak... Kebahagiaan krn apa yg ak mao, akhirna terjadi jg... Saat ini, detik ini, ak merasakan kebahagiaan... Makasi TUHAN krn sudah memberi ak kebahagiaan ini... TUHAN, tolong jangan ambil kebahagiaan ini dari ak... Ak rela KAU memberi ak percobaan laen, tp tolong jgn ambil kebahagiaan ak ini dari ak... Terima kasih TUHAN... Brp hr yg lalu mama ak pulang Singkawang... N baru pulang hr ini... Selama brp hr ini, cwo ak dtg and temenin ak... Ak seneng bgtz... Ak ga tao bagaimana cara mengungkapkan kebahagiaan ak ini... Tapi, ak bnr2 bahagia bgtz... Ak tao ak ini manusia yg sering x membuat org2 disekeliling ak khawatir akan diriku... Tapi untuk skrg ini, hapuslah kekhawatiran kalian... Krn ak bgto baek... Ak bgto bahagia... Krn TUHAN telah memberikan kebahagiaan yg selama ini ak cari... Mungkin menurut kalian ini konyol... Tapi bnr, TUHAN yg memberikan kebahagiaan ini kepadaku... Makasi TUHAN...

Untuk TUHAN ku tercinta... Oh TUHAN, terima kasi krn KAU telah memberikan cinta kepada umat2MU ini... Sehingga umat2MU ini bs mencintai dan dicintai... Mengenal apa rasa cinta... Terima kasih TUHAN atas semua pemberian KAU kepadaku... Makasi krn menciptakan seorg ibu yg bgto menyayangi ak... Menciptakan seorg lelaki yg bgto menyayangi ak... Skrg, ak bnr2 merasakan kebahagiaan yg tiada habisnya... Terima kasih TUHAN atas semua ini... GOD, I do love YOU...

Untuk mama ak... Ma, makasi atas semua pelajaran yg telah kau berikan padaku... Semua hukuman2 yg telah kau berikan padaku agar ak tambah kuat dan dewasa... Ak ga pernah bnr2 membenci km... Krn ak tao, semua yg km lakukan ini adalah untuk kebaekan ak sndr... Makasi bgtz ma atas semua yg telah mama lakukan buat ak... Ak ga akan melupakan semua ini... Terima kasih...

Untuk mantan ak... Ak tetep sayang sama km... Tp sebagai temen... Bgto ak memikirkan mu, ak ngerasa sedih n kasian n bersalah... Sedih n kasian akan kondisi kesehatan km... Bersalah krn selingkuh di belakang km... Tp km bgto baek... Bahkan tidak membenci ak... Terima kasih... Ak akan doakan yg terbaek buat km...

Untuk cwo ak... Makasi krn uda hadir dalam hidup ak... Makasi krn memberi ak kesempatan untuk menjadi pasangan km... Makasi krn uda mao terima ak apa adanya... Makasi krn uda mao mencintai ak... Makasi krn uda mao menyayangi ak... Makasi krn uda mao berkorban untuk ak... Makasi krn smua yg kau berikan padaku adalah kebahagiaan buat ak... Makasi cinta...

Makasi semua temen2 ak atas semua dukungan yg telah kalian berikan padaku... Semua nasehat2 yg kalian tujukan padaku... Makasi... Ak sangat bersyukur krn mengenal kalian smua... GOD bless u all...

Love,

MAY

21.02.2008 - 1 month anniversary

20.02.2008... Itz wednesday... On 19 - 20.02.2008, I quarrel again with my dear... Hemz... But then, on 20.02.2008 afternoon, we stop our quarrel... On that nite, he came to my house... Actually he wanna accompany me until 21.02.2008, 12am... Because it was our 1 month anniversary... Hemz... I am so happy... Last nite we do lots of silly things... First he checked on my friendster... Then we watched tv for a while... Then he started to be naughty and kissed me... OMG... We french kissed for... Ermzzz... Quite a long time... Until I cant breath... Hehehe... And until I pushed him but he was so strong until I cant have the energy to push him... Hehe... Then he let me go... We chit chat and took quite few photos with my new phone... Will put it in my fs later on... I love him so much... Yes, I really do... I cant even angry him for a long time... On 18.02.2008, he put on a ring on my finger and it was our unformal engage ring... I am his n he is mine... Today is our 1 month anniversary... Wah... So fast... I feel that we just start this relatinship for few weeks... But... It was 1 month old now... Hehehe... Dear, happy anniversary k?? I love u so much... Yesterday he wrote me letter too... To expressed how he feel... And how much he love me... And I was so touch... So happy... Yes, I do love u too my dear... And I promise that I wont leave u... I will always love u... And I will always by your side... Forever loving u... I dont know why, I feel wanna be with u everyday, every minute, every second... I love u so much... And only love can understand us... Let love and GOD lead our way... Our way to our future...
Hubby, I love u so so much... I will always love u... For now... And forever...

20.02.2008

Hemz... Suddenly I feel wanna talk... Wanna write out everything I feel... For now, I feel sad, angry, mad, wanna cry... I dont know why... Last nite, he left me behind... He dont reply my zmz... That really hurt me... I dont know why he like that... Usually he can take jokes... But last nite, he was so so different... I cant said anything too... So I just let him like that... I didnt call him too... I thought this morning he will wake me up as usual... But he didnt... Usually even we are having quarrel, he will still wake me up... But not this morning... I dont know why, I feel like crying... But I dont let the tears to come out... Then I come in my office and start my computer... I sign into yahoo messenger... Waiting for him to online... As I wait, I always look into my hp... And I hope that he will msg me... BUt he doesnt... I am really dissapointed... And I really feel wanna cry... Oh GOD, please help me with this feeling... After that, I see him online... But he didnt find me... He just set up his status... And we chat thru status... I dont know why, I feel so hurt in my heart... Since valentine day until now, this is the 1st time we quarrel again... And I, I am so so sad... Why?? Why everytime I have to quarrel with him?? Why everytime I have to get hurt 1st then he will realize what I want?? Why everytime I have to roll down my tears then he will realize whats wrong?? I really dont know what should I do now... I am so so tired... But everytime when I listen to his voice, I cant stop... I cant stop loving him... Only with him I can be myself... Be a gal who is exhausted of love and care... But he... He doesnt realize that... He doesnt know that I am exhausted of love and care... I dont know what should I do... Hemz... GOD, please show me the way how to face all my problems... I really dont know what should I do... I realize that I do really love him... And I guess, so do he... But why?? Why sadness always comes to me after happiness?? He put on a ring on me... We have an unformal engagement... I am so so happy... A ring that curve our name and love on it... Tears... I hate tears... It always drop from my eyes... But then, without tears, I cant cry... What should I do now?? I am speechless... Why we always quarrel because of small matter?? I am so so sad... Oh GOD... Please help me... What should I do...?? Please lead me in this problems... GOD, now YOU are the only one who can change him... Change him to be a better man... Please guide him... Please look after him... Thanks GOD...

what happen with me within 1 month

Hemz..Just wanna tell ya guys everything that happen to me with this 1 month... Something that make me think I am crazy... I am nuts and I am weird... Hahaha... On 21th January, I start my relationship with someone who I just know for erm...1 week maybe... Actually, for the first time, I just wanna play with him... But after I see him on 20th January, I feel that something wrong with me... Really... First, I feel that I like him... OMG... How can that be??!! Hemz... But thats the truth... We go to church... he came to my house and pick me up... After that we go have lunch with my sis who suddenly appear infront of us... Hahaha... After that, we go watch movie... Hemz... When we leave, we din said anything... Let me tell u where is the weird thing... The weird thing is, I never feel the feeling that appear in my mind and body... Hemz... When he said he likes me and want me be his gf on 21th January, I accept him directly... Cos I feel the same way he felt to me... Let me tell you our activities everyday... We sms everyday, everyhour, every minute... Only stop when we are chatting... We chat since 8am until 5.30 pm... After that we continue with playing sms... At night around 10pm something, he will call me... And we will talk on the phone until we fall asleep... After that on 6am or 7am, I will give him morning call... On 27th January last Sunday, he brought me back to his house to introduce me with his family... So happy... Hehe... That day actually we want to go TA... But we didnt go... Because I am lazy... I feel that his house is comfortable... I really like his house... Hehe... Hemz... And if I dont remember wrong date, on 29th January, he propose me... I accept him but I know we cant married now... I told I will marry him when I am 26... Hehe... After that, guess wad... I, me, who always angry ppl for weeks... Can just forget about my anger to him in minutes... Thats the most weird thing happen in me... And I can even contact with him without any boring feeling appears... Hahaha... I think, I really do love him so much... I really do... Thats all I wanna said for now... I love u dear hubby... Muachsss.....

regrEt

Damn..!! I am really stupid to ask him once more time... Now... He hurt my heart again... I guess its time for me to really broke up with him... I cant stand... Damn!!! What he thinks he is??? He is nothing for me!!! Just a guy who dont have feeling and dont have heart!!! Sh*t!!! Just get rid of me... Dont come find me anymore... I will easily forget u...!!! I will !!! And I will show u that I can forget u!!!

LovE

Hem... I am thinking... What is Life meant to be without LOVE?? WoW... Even lesbian and gay have love... Right?? What is the feeling when we are sad there's no one for us?? What is the feeling when we are happy and there's no one to enjoy with?? What is the feeling when u see all your friends are dating with their love one while u are left behind alone?? Oh... GOD... It's hurt and miserable... That is what I felt before... Few years ago before I got bf... Its been almost 6 years past since I first learn to love... So miss my first love... But then... itz all a past now... Now I got him... He who always love me... He who always care for me... He who always miss me... He who always make me happy... He who always can make me cry... He who always be there when I need him... I do love him... I will love him... And I always do... Maybe we do always quarrel... But then it doesnt change my love to him... But it makes my love stronger... Oh dear... I really crazy for u... I am crazy in love with u... U are everything for me... When the first time u said I love u, I am so happy... I really do... Please... Never let me go... Cos I will never let u go too... Dear, I love u... Muah...